Questions of purpose

What is belief?

Could it be understanding, coming to terms with wisdom and emotion? Science that grapples at facts cold from manuals? Might it spark like a revelation, disappearing before we can really experience it?

I recently heard in a movie that there is no difference between a cop and a criminal at gunpoint. They have served their purpose while fate decides their sentence. Death was an innocence waiting between the simple prayers we cry for righteousness and the sins we distribute behind closed doors.

And that makes perfect sense to many people.

Certainly we seem argue how life just makes sense when everyone is peaceful and striving for goodness. But the reality is there is one working against us like an arsonist searching to set idle fuel off. Sometimes I can’t respect the danger. It can’t be just a good versus evil battle: there must be something deeper, something written in stone that goes beyond just living for the good of mankind.

Paul in his letter to the Hebrews writes with great urgency: “For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment, how shall we escape if we ignore such a great salvation?”

I wonder---do I really crave the purity I read about, that I see everywhere and hear in the hidden messages remarking from everyone’s lips? Or do I choose to settle for my indifferent attitude like a moth to the flame?

The scariest thought is that belief is a lifestyle from the first breath of life; that every choice be judged and reasoned authentically. But grace, the swaying measure that I will never fathom. What are the scales, how many lashes?

I hear Jesus Christ cry his last on the cross, cringing at the suffering beyond mere citizen death. For that, this much is sound: “Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case---things that accompany salvation. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show the same diligence to the very end, and in order to make your hope sure.” -Hebrews 6: 9-11

I pray for remembrance in the times I serve and a clean slate when I slip.